


Don't Drink And Dance

by AceOnIce



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe - Human, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Caring Alec Lightwood, Cute Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Magnus Bane, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Pole Dancing, all the smut is in chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24968329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: Two times Magnus pole dances, with wildly varying results.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 42
Kudos: 190
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skylar102](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus attempts to pole dance. At a play ground. At night. While drunk.   
> It doesn't go well.

Despite his boyfriend’s intoxicated state, Alec thinks he can manage the ten-minute walk back to their apartment. Magnus isn’t so drunk that he’s falling all over himself, but he’s wobbling slightly and his words are slurred as he tells a dramatic story about work. Alec is only half-listening, keeping a firm grip on Magnus’ hand so he can stop his boyfriend at crosswalks to ensure he doesn’t walk directly into traffic.

He thinks they’ve made it past the most dangerous part, the series of busy intersections near the restaurant, when they reach the park only a block away from their apartment. Of course, that’s when Magnus cuts off mid-sentence and pulls away from him, jogging awkwardly to the playground. 

“Magnus,” Alec calls back, chasing after him. It’s past dark and the playground is thankfully empty as Magnus leans against the rock wall, clearly inebriated. A streetlight is positioned a few feet away, at the corner of the playground, giving just enough light to make out general shapes of the playscape. “What are you doing?” 

“I want to show you something,” Magnus slurs, reaching out to grasp the metal fire-fighter’s pole attached to the playground for balance. 

Alec raises an eyebrow, amused by his boyfriend’s antics. Magnus has a high tolerance for alcohol, but they’d been celebrating and, clearly, he'd surpassed his limits. Alec had switched to non-alcoholic drinks after the first round. 

“At a playground at night?” Alec asks, reaching out only to be rebuffed by Magnus stumbling from the rock wall, closer to the metal pole. “Let’s go home.” 

“No, no, watch,” Magnus insists, grasping the pole with both hands, determination woven into his features. 

Alec feels a sense of apprehension wash over him. He’s sure that whatever Magnus is about to try isn’t going to end well. He’s taken care of a drunk Jace one too many times to know how this sort of thing always plays out. 

“Magnus-” 

“Shhhh,” Magnus responds noisily, studying the pole. “I can pole dance Alec.” 

Alec goes stiff because Magnus is too drunk to _walk_ and he’s going to try to pole dance on a playground. He thinks there’s a fifty percent chance this will end with Magnus needing an ambulance ride to the hospital. Alec takes a step closer, setting a placating hand on Magnus’ arm. “Okay, great, I believe you, but-” 

“Watch!” 

Alec does watch, his stomach tying itself in knots, as Magnus grasps the pole tighter and hoists himself up. 

Somehow, Magnus manages to flip his feet over his head- probably a result of the amazing abs Alec knows he has. However, as Alec predicted, things go sideways very quickly. Because Magnus is upside-down and his legs are waving uselessly over his head, trying to find the pole with no success. 

Alec can only manage a choked, “Magnus-”, as he reaches out with the intention of doing _something_ to help his boyfriend. He doesn’t get the chance because Magnus’ grip falters and the next thing he knows, Magnus is laying face-down in the wood chips. 

“Fuck,” Alec breathes, falling to his knees beside his boyfriend. Magnus hadn’t fallen far, but he had fallen face-first. “Magnus, are you alright?” 

He gets a distressed groan in response. “I’m going to sleep here.” 

Alec snorts, relieved that Magnus sounds no less coherent than he had before falling and that he’s making conversation, rather than complaining of any pain. “I think you would probably get arrested in the morning by some concerned parents.” 

“That’s homophobic,” Magnus whines, turning his face just enough to rest the side of his face on the wood chips. Alec bites back a hiss when he sees a light stream of blood, starting at Magnus’ temple and trailing down his cheek. 

Alec tugs the sleeve of his jacket over his hand to wipe the blood from Magnus’ face. The cut isn’t deep, but there's dirt all around it. “We need to go back to the apartment so I can clean your cut.” 

Magnus grumbles the whole time but he pushes himself up a sitting position before holding out his arms. His palms are scratched up, but not bleeding. He looks like an overgrown toddler. “Carry me.” 

“Really?” Alec scans Magnus for any sign of other injuries. He’s covered in little pieces of yellow wood, but he seems mostly unhurt. 

“Why do you workout so much if not to carry your injured boyfriend home?” 

Alec rolls his eyes as he stands and holds out a hand to help Magnus up. Magnus gets to his feet, wavering and leaning heavily against Alec. “My face hurts.” 

“You did just fall on it,” Alec says, slipping an arm around Magnus’ waist to lead him away from the playground. Magnus stumbles and when Alec catches sight of a bench he makes a choice that has him re-evaluating all of his life decisions that have led to this moment. 

He leads Magnus to the bench, “Get up.” 

“Are we going to make out?” 

Alec blows out a hard exhale. “No, Magnus, we are not making out at a playground two minutes from our apartment. I’m going to carry you, stand up on the bench.” He keeps a firm grip on Magnus, making sure he doesn’t fall over as he stands up. Then, keeping a hand on Magnus, leg, he turns around. “Climb on.” 

Magnus makes a sound that resembles a squeal more than Alec would like to admit before practically falling onto Alec’s back. Alec grunts at the sudden weight, but as Magnus had so articulately pointed out, he does workout a lot. He gets Magnus to hold on with his legs, planting a hand under each thigh to help support him. 

“You’re never getting drunk again,” Alec grumbles as he crosses the park. “Or, I’m getting drunk with you and we’re taking an Uber home” 

“Mmkay,” Magnus agrees easily, resting his face against Alec’s shoulder to press a kiss to his cheek. It’s such a sweet gesture that Alec almost forgives him for injuring himself and needing to be carried back to the apartment. Almost. 

They reach the street between the park and their apartment and as Alec tries to figure out how to press the crosswalk button without dropping Magnus, Magnus kicks out a foot to tap it before letting his foot fall back down. 

Alec chuckles, readjusting Magnus on his back. His boyfriend is by no means light, but they’re almost back and carrying him is turning out to be easier than trying to walk with him. “Thank you.” 

“Any time.” Magnus presses kisses to his throat, making Alec shiver as he reaches an especially sensitive patch of skin. Magnus somehow notices, despite seeming to be aware of very little that’s going on around him, and nibbles at the skin. 

“Stop it,” Alec chides as he crosses the street. 

He can feel Magnus’ pout against his skin, “but you taste good.” 

“Nope,” Alec says shortly, “you’re not getting me all riled up when you’re too drunk to do anything about it.” 

“’m not that drunk.” 

Alec snorts, nodding to the doorman as he pulls open the door for them. To his credit, the guy doesn’t say anything about Magnus’ drunken state. He barely bats an eye. Alec still feels his cheeks heat as he hurries to the elevator. 

“So you’re sober enough to walk?” 

“No,” Magnus whines, kicking at the elevator button like he had the crosswalk. He misses on the first two tries before hitting it. “This is better.” 

Alec rolls his eyes, knowing Magnus won’t see it, but carries his boyfriend up to their apartment. Magnus reluctantly allows Alec to put him down so he can get the apartment door open. Once inside, Magnus wanders to the bedroom while Alec grabs a bottle of water, some painkillers, and the box of first aid stuff they keep under the sink. 

He finds Magnus fast asleep in their bed, still fully clothed. 

Alec snorts, but his smile is fond as he kneels beside Magnus’ head, gently cleaning the wound before pressing a Hello Kitty bandaid, something they keep around for Madzie and occasionally Jace, over it. Magnus probably doesn’t need it- the cut seems to have stopped bleeding- but Alec isn’t going to pass up the opportunity. 

He gets Magnus out of his jeans and shoes without waking him. It’s more effort to get his jacket and shirt off and he thinks Magnus is somewhat awake for part of the process, but he never opens his eyes. He carefully removes the two necklaces Magnus had worn, followed by four rings and an ear cuff, all set gently on the nightstand beside the water and the painkillers. 

Alec makes a quick trip to the restroom to get Magnus’ makeup wipes so he can carefully scrub the product from Magnus' face. He thinks he's probably missing a bit of the eyeliner, but he's doing his best with a sleeping Magnus.

He gets Magnus tucked under the covers before changing and sliding in beside him. Instantly, Magnus is curling into him, eyes still closed. Alec snorts, running a hand through Magnus’ hair. He picks a wood chip out of it and tosses it over the side of the bed. “You owe me.” 

Magnus doesn’t answer and Alec smiles fondly at his, frankly ridiculous but insanely adorable, boyfriend before allowing himself to be lulled to sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus proves how talented he is on the pole (when sober).

The next day, Alec teases Magnus _relentlessly._

Magnus doesn’t remember past leaving the restaurant and Alec delights in flustering his boyfriend over how whiny and demanding he’d become. 

It's all good fun until Alec informs Magnus had gotten the scratch on his forehead from attempting to pole dance. “You got your feet over your head before you promptly face planted,” Alec says as he pours two mugs of coffee. 

Magnus is sitting at the table, his face pressed against the glass surface. The ridiculous Hello Kitty bandaid is still plastered over his forehead. “I can’t believe I was drunk the first time I pole danced for you.” 

Alec places Magnus’ coffee on the table as he sites down beside him. “The first time? Do you plan on trying to pole dance again?” 

“Only if you want me to,” Magnus raises his head to smirk at Alec. The affect is somewhat ruined by the kids-themed bandaid on his face. 

“I’d rather you not risk another concussion,” Alec says, sipping his coffee and studying Magnus, attempting to figure out just how hungover he is. 

Magnus pouts back at him. “I’m normally much more coordinated.” 

“Okay,” Alec says placatingly. He reaches for Magnus’ hand to squeeze it under his own. 

His efforts are clearly futile when Magnus narrows his eyes. “I _can_ pole dance Alexander.” 

“So you told me last night.” 

Magnus huffs, pulling his hand away so he can pick up his coffee. “Fine, I’ll prove it. As soon as this headache fades, we’re going to Cat’s dance studio.” 

“It’s closed today,” Alec reminds him with a raised eyebrow. “Also, does she have poles there?” 

“Of course she does. And I have a set of keys. Prepare to eat your words Alexander Lightwood.” 

Alec snorts, half concerned that he’s about to get a repeat of Magnus face-planting, half aroused at the idea of Magnus pole dancing. “Fine, but you’re carrying me to the subway.” 

“Not a chance,” Magnus answers instantly. “You’re giant.” 

“You owe me,” Alec reminds him, sipping at his coffee. 

Magnus rolls his eyes and then grimaces, probably a result of his hangover. “I’m going to pole dance for you, isn’t that enough?” 

“Not if it’s anything like yesterday.” 

“I’ll carry you if you find my skills unsatisfactory.” 

Alec leans over to press a soft kiss to Magnus’ cheek. “Deal.”

He can’t wait for Magnus to carry him- preferably to bed. 

Of course, because it’s Magnus, he goes all out. 

At three pm Alec is distracted from the book he’s reading, laid out on the sofa in the living room with the Chairman in his lap, by the bedroom door opening. Magnus steps out, dressed like he’s going clubbing. 

His hair is styled up, pink streaks decorating the front strands. His makeup is bright and distinct, glitter making his face sparkle. The band-aid is gone, only a light scratch remaining. He’s wearing a black tank-top, with pink sequins, that clings to his abs and leaves very little to the imagination. His long legs are on display as a result of the incredibly short hot-pink shorts he’s wearing, ending in high heels the same color. 

Alec is off the couch in an instant, sending Chairman Meow scurrying. He crosses the room before Magnus can speak and slams their lips together. His hands fall to Magnus’ hips, walking him back until Magnus is pressed against the wall. Magnus makes a surprised noise as he tugs Alec in closer by his shirt, nibbling at his lips. 

It isn’t until Alec slips a hand under Magnus’ tank top that the shorter man makes a small noise and pulls away. “Alexander, it doesn’t count as me failing to pole dance if you simply distract me from trying.” 

“ _Distrac_ t _you_?” Alec asks, incredulously, even as he sucks a hickey at the junction of Magnus’ neck and shoulder. 

“What else would you call this?” 

Alec leans back, studying the bruise. He flicks his tongue over it to make Magnus whimper and lean into him. “How else was I supposed to react to _this?”_

Magnus runs his fingers through Alec’s hair. “I suppose I should have seen this coming.” 

“Yeah,” Alec breathes, nipping at Magnus’ swollen lower lip. “You should’ve.” 

“Even so.” Magnus places a hand to Alec’s chest to gently push him back. “I did promise you a show.” 

Alec groans because as good as Magnus looked standing still in those shorts, he looks impossibly better walking away. Alec prays for the strength to not ravage his boyfriend in public. Then again, he doubts anyone could hold it against him when Magnus looks like _that._

As Alex expected, Catarina’s dance studio is empty. Magnus waltzes in like he owns the place, locking the main door behind them before heading for the back. Alec has only been to the studio twice, once to pick up Madzie and once to bring Catarina some costumes she’d forgotten before a dress rehearsal. He’s only ever seen the front room with it’s large wooden floor and mirror-covered walls. 

Magnus leads him past that to a back room. It’s much the same as the one they’d come from, but there are four shiny silver poles reaching from the floor to ceiling, spaced evenly across the room. 

Alec narrows his eyes as Magnus sets down his keys, realizing too late, “You've done this before.” 

“I told you I can pole dance.” Magnus doesn’t look back at him as he grabs one of the poles and easily lifts his legs over his head to wrap around the pole. It’s the same move as the night before, but it’s much more graceful now. As soon as Magnus has his legs interlocked around the pole, he’s letting go with his hands, pushing himself up. It looks as if he’s lying in mid-air, held up only by the strength of his body and the pole between his thighs. 

Alec’s mouth is dry and he’s frozen in place, watching as his boyfriend shifts from the reclining pose to wrap one leg around the pole, stretching the other diagonally out so he can spin around it to the ground. 

His heels hit the floor with a _click_ and he looks all too satisfied with himself as he steps away from the pole. He nips at Alec's jaw. “Impressed yet?” 

Alec can't help but groan, feeling his pants tightening already. “You’re so hot.” 

“Told you so,” Magnus breathes, closing the distance between them to steal Alec’s lips in a heated kiss, licking into his mouth. 

Before Alec can respond, Magnus is pulling away and _grinding_ down Alec’s body in sinuous movements that leave the taller man feeling dizzy. Then, all too soon, Magnus is dancing away with a smirk. 

Alec drops his head against the wall behind him. “Tease,” he manages to get out, palming at the front of his jeans for some friction as Magnus careens up the pole, making it look easy. He spins around with only his arms holding him up before looping his legs around it and _flipping._ The movements make his muscles bulge and Alec is very quickly overheating from watching Magnus twirl around the pole. 

He lands back on the floor and moves his hips in a truly sinful motion, thrusting against the pole. Alec’s control snaps. He crosses the distance between them, sets his hands on Magnus’ hips- his shirt has ridden up enough on one side that Alec’s palm presses against warm, smooth skin- and turns him around so he can crash their lips together. 

Magnus moans into the kiss, pushing a hand beneath Alec’s shirt, scratching his nails lightly over Alec’s lower back. Alec gasps at the sensation before Magnus is pressing him back, and moving with him. Their lips never separate as Magnus backs Alec against one of the large wall mirrors. 

“Believe me now?” Magnus asks with a cocky smile as Alec tugs at his tank top, needing to get as much skin on display as he can. Magnus pulls the shirt over his head and tosses it away before resting his hands on Alec's thighs. Alec has barely a second to prepare before Magnus is lifting him, holding him between himself and the mirror, urging Alec to wrap his legs around his waist. 

Alec does, shuddering at the display of strength and the press of Magnus’ dick against his own. Even through two layers of clothing, the feeling has his hair standing on end. He curls a hand around Magnus' arm, feeling the strong biceps there. 

“You’re perfect,” Alec breathes as Magnus pulls away to press kisses down his neck. He can feel Magnus sucking a mark, fingers pressing harder into his thighs. Alec is helpless to do much more than grind against Magnus and tug at his hair, ruining the meticulous styling. 

“Put me down,” Alec gasps out, “or I’m going to cum in my pants like a teenager.” 

He can feel Magnus’ reluctance in his movements as he lets Alec get his feet under him. Alec pulls him in for one long, dirty kiss, before Magnus is sinking to his knees and tugging at Alec’s jeans. 

Then Magnus is mouthing at his thighs and curling a hand around Alec’s dick. Alec tightens his hand in Magnus hair, letting his head fall back. The movement makes his eyes catch and he sees his own reflection on the far wall, with Magnus kneeling in front of him, shirtless and licking at his dick. 

“Fuck,” Alec breathes, staring at his own debauched reflection. Magnus hums, brushing his lips up Alec’s cock, licking at the head. 

Alec resigns to incoherent babbling, mostly Magnus’ name, and as Magnus takes his dick into his mouth fully, until Alec can feel the back of Magnus throat. Magnus’ hands slip from his sides to his ass and he squeezes lightly as he swallows around Alec's cock. 

Alec comes apart the third time Magnus pulls off, licks at the head, and sucks him back down. Magnus swallows it all before moving away just enough to litter Alec's lower abs with small, open-mouthed kisses.

It takes him a moment to come back to himself, but as soon as he does, Alec is lowering to his knees to press his lips against Magnus’. Magnus makes a little sound as Alec dominates the kiss, licking into his mouth. 

“I’ll show you how much I liked watching you,” Alec promises, pushing lightly at Magnus’ shoulders until he’s lying on his back. A small shiver goes through Magnus’ body, likely a result of the cold floor beneath him so Alec hurries to press sloppy kisses down his neck, running his hands over Magnus’ torso. 

“Please do,” Magnus breathes, pushing a hand into his shorts to stroke himself. 

Alec scrapes his nails down Magnus’ chest and nips at his collarbone before tugging the shorts down enough to free his erection. Alec instantly takes the tip into his mouth, moaning around the warm weight of it, his hand curling around the remainder of Magnus’ length, jerking him off. 

Magnus sucks in a breath, leaning up on one elbow to stare down at Alec. Alec looks up at him, mouth stretched around his cock and flushes when he sees Magnus’ eyelids flutter in pleasure. He licks up Magnus' dick before moving back down to the head, sucking slightly as he uses his free hand to fondle Magnus’ balls. 

“Gorgeous,” Magnus breathes, before his eyes flicker to the side and he lets out a long groan. Alec knows he’s seeing their reflection in the mirror and _honestly, why haven’t they had mirror sex before_? Alec takes more of Magnus into his mouth, sucking and licking as he does, ever so lightly trailing his nails over the base of Magnus’ cock. 

Magnus jerks and Alec’s mouth fills with his cum. He swallows the bitterness and pulls off with one last soft kiss to Magnus’ perfect dick. 

“I want you in me as soon as we get home,” Alec tells him, voice low. 

Magnus moans, dropping his head back onto the floor. “I can do that.” 

“Good.” Alec tugs up Magnus’ shorts for him before moving up his body to rest against his chest. “We’re going to have to clean the mirror, there's smudges.” 

Magnus chuckles, fingers trailing over Alec’s arm. “Cat can never know about this.” 

“I’m certainly not going to tell her.” 

“... I might.” 

“Magnus!” 

He laughs again, beautiful and carefree. Alec smiles into his chest at the sound. “We have wine nights, I can’t help if I get tipsy.” 

Alec groans. “Just don’t try to pole dance.” 

“I thought I just proved my skills on the pole.” 

“Only when you’re sober,” Alec orders, pressing a kiss over Magnus’ heart before sitting up. “Come on, I want to go home so I can feel you in me.” 

Magnus wastes no time in jumping up to retrieve his shirt. After that, it’s a race against the clock to clean the mirror and get home. 


End file.
